I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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