He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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