eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
The best revenge is premature balding
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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