You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize