his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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