i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
