and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
