you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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