just survived the first fart of the relationship.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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