"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
