He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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