I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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