I'm going to jail i love you
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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