thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Randomize