Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
