You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Randomize
