We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Come share oat with me in your robe
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
