he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Why is your signature on my underwear?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
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