Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
