She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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