How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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