I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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