life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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