I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
