paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize