He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
