I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize