how can u be prego again
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize