i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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