no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
