this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
