My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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