Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
