Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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