weddingsv make me drug and hornr
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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