You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
