I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
