I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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