I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
