My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
