Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize