I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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