i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
