i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
