omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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