If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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