I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
