Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
