Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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