Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
