"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
