can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
