Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
