this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
My ATM looks so different sober.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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