i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
