did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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