i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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