just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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